The Untold Confession

source; pinterest

I once had a lovestory of highschool era, it happened at my last year.
When I was rushing to study all the time
When all I could think about was college
When all I faced day by night was books, not movies
That's when I have been loving you and claiming you are my huge motivation

It is going to be cheesy, super cheesy
I rarely write something about this
But I guess, in a blue moon, you will be need to read this 

You know you don't have to give that look, actually
When our friends teased in spare time, to made a joke
Or I know just to have some fun after tired and exhausting
You don't have to stare saying 'don't crush me'
Because then, I did crush.
And I know since that day, it would went wrong

We were made from a different circle
Living a life in a different way
Having fun with different friends
Going home in a different path
Dreaming a different next step of life
I see a lot differences, but why would I think you will share the same way?

Time goes by, books, pages, sweats, build us a concrete walls
I care no longer for what you even think of me
I care no longer of this longevity vacancy you created
I, create myself, to spark a bold, ambitious, student
I push myself to study even more,
To not even let a love life ruins
Deep inside, I do adore you
But as you read, I act like I careless
Deep inside, I was dying to see you everyday
I take extra classes to see you
I scratch more numbers to get understood questions
Just in case I don't need to ask you any longer

Deep inside,
I love to see the way you walk to class
How you talk to mates
How you explain to them but not me
How you fold sweater before break
How you write answers in board
How your footsteps sound into extra class room
How you sit and stare to math explanation
How you ride motorcycle
With red helmet that I will remember every time in other cities
How you put eyeglasses after class
How you ignore my bday greetings when friends did not
And they are around you
How you walk away when I am asking help
How you bounce and run basketball very well
And that was my first time to see a match
Eventhough, you pushed me away from spring
And pretended every year that I did not exist

Deep inside,
You do not need remind me
That you think of me not even in one second
That you forget me the minute you graduated
That you will not even remember my name
Eventhough,
I dreamt of you too often
After almost four years not see-ing you
I still dreamt of you too often
I don't know and never ask
Where ever you might read this,
Wishing you a happiest life
And let me know if you have read.
Because I keep myself asking 'is it a love, isn't it?'
What's your answer you wish I'd might hear?